tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379203644850638793.post3692473726237564821..comments2023-08-22T04:10:48.239-07:00Comments on A Jew in the Rain: Don't Be a Menace to Elijah the Prophet While Worshipping Your Idols in the HoodA Jew in the Rainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05547195213547633815noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379203644850638793.post-90826604793166333012014-09-18T10:25:35.921-07:002014-09-18T10:25:35.921-07:00Worthwhile project. Good start. The text reads mo...Worthwhile project. Good start. The text reads more as a script to be read aloud to a group, however, than as narrative to be read in silence. This suggests to me that you are still too close to Tanach. To get a more 'novelistic' tone, you need to read more novels and study how word choice conjures up atmospheres and emotions. My writing always improves after I have immersed myself in masters like Tolstoy, Nabokov, Virginia Wolff. You might also try breaking up compound sentences: one sentence for location, a second for mood, a third for statement; instead of 'X stood at Y and shouted "Z!" to the crowd below." See what happens if you experiment with synonyms and metaphors instead of common translations-from-Hebrew to suggest or paint "fierce," "idolatrous," "stubborn".Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01504236661208804725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379203644850638793.post-83557946116497950302014-08-17T16:32:03.093-07:002014-08-17T16:32:03.093-07:00I've not got enough daas Torah to comment on t...I've not got enough daas Torah to comment on this presentation, only to say that I like the idea; and to add that there are others who do something similar -- the 'Let My Nation...' series, and Rav Osher Baddiel of London, in his weekly parsha and haftora e-mail (e-mail the blog if you want the address).A Jew in the Rainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05547195213547633815noreply@blogger.com